"Why the SAME communication technique knocks the socks off
one prospect and makes
another turn and run"
Picture this scenario.
You only understand and speak French. Your prospect, on the other hand, only understands and speaks English.
Would that cause any problems in the sponsoring process? Of course! You've got to be able to speak your prospect's language, right? Although this example might be a bit exaggerated, this happens all the time in your normal sponsoring activities.
Have you ever said to yourself, "I just don't get him?" Or, "No matter what I said, I just couldn't seem to get through to that prospect." Being in the networking arena puts you in front of many people that you might not know on an intimate level, and often times don't know at all.
By understanding the 4 basic personality styles and how to recognize and communicate with each, you can connect and build a rapport with anyone. First let's look at...
THE DOMINANT CONTROLLERS:
Strong, self-assured delegators, these individuals are very outspoken and usually very results oriented. They almost never have a lot of fears about their ability to accomplish something.
Know that they require an opportunity to take charge, they like to do it their way so always make it their idea. Give them lots of choices and acknowledge them for their attributes and you will win their trust.
They're born leaders. Most independent business leaders are of this category and should be admired even if their overbearing impatience is a bit intimidating.
THE SUPPORTIVE RELATERS:
The personality style of the supportive relaters is the complete opposite of the controllers. These warm and gentle relationship oriented people are amongst the care givers of the world.
Excellent listeners and often soft spoken, the supportive relaters need to know that they are cared for and that their feelings matter. Build relationship and connect with them on a personal level and they will follow you anywhere.
Be careful not to be loud and overbearing for they feel victimized and bullied very easily. They strive to be powerful so assure them that you'll be there with them every step of the way. Give them encouragement and they're sure to step up to the plate.
THE CAUTIOUS ANALYZERS:
Like the controller style, the cautious analyzer types are task oriented individuals, but in a quieter, more low key way.
They are very logical about things, putting their emotions on the back burner to make sure all the facts are in order. You must be organized and well planned to connect and work with these individuals. Otherwise, they will see you as flighty and uninformed and will negate your opinions.
They typically find trusting most difficult and change very uncomfortable.To build trust with them, pay close attention to the details and do not exaggerate.
THE FUN-LOVING PROMOTERS:
This brings us to the most social of the group and the opposite style of the task oriented analyzers, the promoters.
These people are the life of the party.
Outgoing extroverts with a great sense of humor, they often have difficulty with structure but love to be expressive and have fun.
Give them room to be creative and spontaneous and they will jump in. Definitely do NOT bog them down with details and DO communicate with a ton of enthusiasm. They'll be very interested in the social side of networking, for they're very relationship oriented people and love to express themselves.
The more familiar you become with other people's styles, the better you'll be able to speak their language.
For example, you probably wouldn't ask a controller to meet over a long slow lunch... a quick power breakfast at 7:15 am would be better (where as a promoter probably doesn't "do mornings").
And you wouldn't open a business conversation with a supportive relater by reciting your 13 point plan and supporting data (but an analyzer would eat that up)... this person would rather get to know you first.
How do you know which one of the 4 styles your prospect is?
The simplest way is to listen to how much someone talks.
Controllers and promoters generally are fast paced extroverts. Though they're outgoing in a little bit different ways - one a commanding presence, a delegator and the other is more of a spontaneous entertainer - both are passionate, energetic talkers.
So for starters, if you meet someone who comes on strong and talks a lot they are likely either a controller or a promoter.
On the other hand, if they're quiet, soft spoken, a deep thinker, they're probably either a supporter or an analyzer.
Neither one of these styles are quick to reveal what's really going on with them. So, right away, if you can peg someone as very assertive and talkative or low key and reserved, keeping to themselves, you're half way there.
The second major sign is what people say and how they say it.
You can expect controllers to speak quickly, sometimes loudly, very strongly and confidently and they listen less and talk more. Usually, they make strong statements rather than asking questions.
You can expect a controller to look at their watch a lot, checking the time and making statements like, " OK, let's get this settled right now." or "What's the bottom line?" or "Get to the point." or "What are the options?"
The social promoters, on the other hand, are outgoing and verbal, but, because they are more people oriented, they have more of a social quality. Seldom being authoritative, the promoter would probably include you in the conversation and be quite vague about results, saying things like, "Hey, there's an idea, what do you think?" or "Spare me the details, just give the drift. " Something a lot less formal than the directive controllers would say.
The more low key supportive relaters and analyzers often relate with questions rather than direct statements that reveal their own thoughts or feelings. Especially the sensitive supportive relaters are often indecisive and little bit wishy washy. You might hear them say "I'd like to go kind of slow on this, is that OK?" or " Will you be there to help me in this situation?" or "Can we do this together until I get the feel for it?" Generally, they're not as quick to jump in and tell you exactly in a confident way what they think.
It would be typical for the analyzer to say something like "Now look at this logically." or " Let's take this first step and then we can decide step 2." They ask a lot of questions and seem to appear deep in thought when they're listening. Typically, they touch their face or rest their chin on their hands as if they are in deep analysis of the situation.
To work best with each personality style you need to adapt (customize) your approach and follow through.
While retaining your own identity, handle the different personality styles you come in contact with in a way that puts them at ease. You need to speak to each prospect in the way they feel comfortable listening.
Go Straight to Tip #5 |
